Sign Your Name Across My Heart (in removable ink please)

When I was younger I was just a little bit crazy – I wore knee-high boots, corsets and a lot of black clothing. I also had bright pink hair and over 20 piercings.

 All those years ago when I was going crazy and having random pieces of metal jabbed through my body, I also decided to get tattoos because albeit permanent, the designs I chose I considered to the beautiful and “me” and I was never going to ever ever ever change my mind or change who I was as a person!

And then of course I grew up.

Gone was the pink hair.

Gone were the piercings.

Gone were the tattoos….

  

Oh wait, no they’re not.

  

Because they’re fucking permanent.

Of course, you can use lasers to have your tattoos removed, but do you know how painful that is? On a scale of 1-10, laser tattoo removal is HOLY FUCKING SHIT GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!

  

Laser hair removal? Painless.

Laser freckle removal? Painless.

Laser tattoo removal? Worse than getting the tattoo in the first place. In fact, it is the only pain Wine can’t fix. That is how fucking painful it is.

  

In Brisbane there is a huge fashion trend of young boys and girls getting full sleeve tattoos in bright gaudy colours. It's everywhere, no matter who you look at under the age of 26 they're covered with ink and I can't help but think that in the not too distant future they will be seriously reconsidering their life decisions, and discovering what that Kenji on their forearm really means.

And as they reconsider what they’ve done to their bodies, I shall laugh maniacally at the future generation of senior citizens who look like failed circus clowns.

  

Thank you in advance young people, thank you.