It’s common knowledge that when a woman leaves a relationship the first thing to go is her hair – no matter how long and glorious her haircape is, it will swiftly be left lying on the tiled floor of the hair salon whilst she grins maniacally at her own reflection.
Now, men assume that the reason women cut their hair off after a relationship is something along the lines of the woman recreating themselves, declaring their independence, etc etc.
You like long hair. You like to run your hands through it, watch the sun sparkle off it, you like to see it spread upon the pillow as you make soft, sweet love to us.
You see, in your admiration of our locks, you don’t see the other side of the coin – a coin we hide behind locked bathroom doors and the gilt façade of boutique salons.
We hate long hair.
Apart from making us look like yet another Addams, it’s annoying. It’s expensive to maintain, a pain in the arse to dry, straighten, curl or style in any way imaginable. It’s heavy and hot. It falls out and clogs drains and create tumble hairs (like tumble weed, but made of hair) that randomly tumble across the living room during awkward pauses in conversation.
Basically, it’s the reason we take hours to get ready to go anywhere – even the bottle-o. Long hair is hell incarnate on the heads of women everywhere.
Why do you think so few men (Metal Heads excluded, because seriously, you can’t headbang with short hair; you’d look silly.) have short hair?
Because it’s easy.
Because it’s simple.
Come on men, can’t we women enjoy the same simplicities that you enjoy without being hair-shamed?
After all, imagine all the things we can use our money on if we’re not spending it on our hair…
Things such as Lingerie…
(or shoes…)
Whether it’s the long or the preferably short of it - Long hair sucks, so please men, please! Please be a little bit more understanding and appreciate our shorter hair styles. Either that or learn how to wield a GHD.
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